Thanksgiving

Most days I am very stoic about loss. It sometimes seems as if it didn't even happen to me. Some days I even feel guilty about that.

But other days, like today, it blindsides me. Today we should have held our baby on his first Thanksgiving. And when I picture what that would have been like, the bitterness and emptiness threatens to overtake me.
WHY? WHY? WHY???

Last night at church, Birch passed out post-it notes. He had each person write down five disappointments from his/her life. They were then to crumple up and toss the least painful one, and on and on until all that was left was the Big One. He said that it was very likely that whatever was left was the One Thing we were still holding onto, the one thing we were still angry and confused about, the one question we still asked of God.

The Bible tells us that the only Wise One is God (Romans 16:27). Wisdom is Jesus and no man has an ounce of wisdom on his own. It is through faith in Christ that we are wise in Him.

He then had everyone record their five biggest blessings in order to remind us how good He is because all good things come from Him.

And he read the entire chapter of Psalm 107. (These are some of my favorite parts):

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;
His love endures forever.
Let the redeemed of the Lord say this-
those he redeemed from the hand of the foe,
those he gathered from the lands,
from east and west, from north and south....

Let them give thanks to the Lord
for his unfailing love.
and his wonderful deeds for men,
for he satisfies the thirsty
and fills the hungry with good things....

...he saved them from their distress.
He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom
and broke away their chains.

He sent forth his word and healed them;
he rescued them from the grave.

...he brought them out of their distress.
He stilled the storm to a whisper;
the waves of the sea were hushed...
he guided them to their desired haven.

Whoever is wise, let him heed these things
and consider the great love of the Lord.

I am only wise in Him. I do not, will not, and cannot understand His ways. But today I have considered the great love of my Lord. In the storm, He is there. And for that, I am so deeply thankful.